Breaking news has just come in from Redmond in a company-wide email to all employees of Microsoft Corporation. CEO Satya Nadella confirmed in this email that current Xbox honcho Phil Spencer will be departing the company immediately to be replaced by current Zynga CEO, Don Mattrick. Don will be leading Microsoft’s entire entertainment division once again as he did between 2007 to 2013.
Don Mattrick will be regaining his previous title as ‘President of Interactive Entertainment Business’ as Don focuses on taking the Xbox One and Xbox branding to the top to annihilate Sony entertainment. “I’ve never been a fan of Andrew House, I always believe him to be an immature idiot and while they may have taken some lead on PlayStation 4, I believe I can destroy everything they have in a matter of months” said Don in an exclusive interview with us. Don also commented to us “It’s great to be back at Microsoft. I brought all the jackets with me and I even lent one to Phil Spencer for his car ride home. Some of my initial changes will be the return of the DRM policies starting next week. Not only that, but rather than 24 hour check it, we’re now doing 24 second check in. Now if you don’t like that, don’t worry. We’ve a product for you and it’s called Xbox 360. I sold a tonne of Xbox 360’s by saying that a few years back.”
I asked Don how he felt about the Kinect-less $399 Xbox One SKU. “I f**ing hate that SKU. That was the stupidest thing Spencer ever came up with. What the hell was he even thinking? Don’t worry, starting next week, every Xbox One will require a Kinect Sensor to be turned on and plugged in 24/7. If you don’t have a Kinect, you’ll need to buy one from your closest retailer if you want to use Xbox One” said Don Mattrick.
I had a brief chat with Satya Nadella who told me some interesting stuff about both characters. “Phil was losing too much money and the investors simply weren’t happy. I believe Don is a pioneering character with a great vision for the future and he helps define us as a mobile first, cloud first company” said Nadella. “Phil was too much for the gamers, Don’s vision involves all-in-one entertainment that lights up across each of our devices. Be it on Xbox or Windows or even iOS or Android I think these experiences are critical for our mobile first, cloud first world.”
“Some of the announcements we’re making today is the return of always-on Kinect and DRM. We’re also announcing Halo 5: Guardians with exclusive content for Windows 10 which will launch September 10th 2015. Forza Motorsport 6 will also be launching on August 27th 2015 on Windows 10 including an exclusive car, the McLaren 570S. We’re also making drifting exclusive to Windows 10. We know the gamers will greatly appreciate this” we were told by Don. “By making Halo better on Windows, I believe more people will buy both Xbox One and Surface devices” is what Bonnie Ross told us. Greenawalt from Turn 10 believes “every textured detail on these cars are important. What better way to express this than by making drifting exclusive to Windows. I think Don is a great leader for Xbox and I can’t wait to launch Forza Motorsport 6 under his helm, first on Windows.”
I think Don has a great vision planned for gamers. I think it’s important that people who don’t own a Kinect must buy one. People should be really happy with this shift at Microsoft because I know I am. We will keep you updated on further on-goings that happen in Redmond.
“In the game of Xbox, you win or you die” – Phil Spencer, 2015.
^Alan (@BeetleComet)
UPDATE: We reached out to SONY for an official comment on this news, but all we recieved in response was this:
Alan Walsh is a games journalist, head writer at AR12Gaming. They contributed 52 articles to ICXM in 2015, focused on game reviews, Windows and PC, and Xbox news: leads editorial for AR12Gaming and reviews titles for OpenCritic.